i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The Olympian is in my bed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize