theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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