And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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