I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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