I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
