her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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