I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
A+ Viking dick
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
