Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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