I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
