Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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