im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
