Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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