you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
