I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
