did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
