theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize