How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
