How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
