kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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