You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
