Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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