You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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