Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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