there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
