I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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