i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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