I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
