i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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