please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
