he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
