I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
