; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
