What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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