Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
