there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize