dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
