Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
