so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
