I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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