So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
