he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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