Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
