It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
