id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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