she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
