WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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