Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
