i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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