How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
