My nipple is on Facebook.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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