wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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