you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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