okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
