# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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