My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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