dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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