We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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