i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize