Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
