I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
