I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize