no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
