I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
